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CAUSE OF DEATH

The Pigeon Whale: A Newborn Stillbirth

Here we observe the Pigeon Whale in its natural habitat—the mempool—where it was born, briefly gasped for air, and promptly expired. A mere babe of zero hours, it never stood a chance against the predatory ecosystem of retail investors seeking the next moonshot, only to discover they'd bought a beautifully structured corpse. The absence of liquidity proved to be not a minor inconvenience, but rather a fatal diagnosis written in zeroes.

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