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Newborn Token Gasps Then Flatlines Spectacularly

In its mere infancy, Cut for Cancer experienced what we in the trade call 'explosive growth'—a 499% surge that would make any organism proud, were it not immediately followed by catastrophic organ failure. The creature was born without liquidity, a fatal condition rather like arriving to the savanna without a circulatory system. Within hours, the predators had fed, the authorities had fled, and nothing remained but a beautiful corpse and 149 bewildered witnesses.