CAUSE OF DEATH
Newborn Token Arrives Dead on Blockchain
In the beginning, there was MotherFucker—a token so thoroughly stillborn that its three holders might have been the attending physicians. Born at zero hours with all liquidity evaporated like morning dew on the Serengeti, it achieved the remarkable feat of losing 16% of a value that never truly existed. One might say it was less a token launch and more a coordinated disappearing act, though the revolked authorities suggest someone, at least, had the decency to lock the doors as they left.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Liquidity vacuum, instantaneous total exit
EPITAPH
"Here lies MotherFucker, who lived and died before its first block confirmation—a monument to the eternal human desire to turn hope into spreadsheets."
