CAUSE OF DEATH
Chudhouse Succumbs to Gravity's Patient Inevitability
Here we observe the chudhouse token in its final throes—a creature that once commanded $463,000 in daily feeding, now hemorrhaging 15.5% of its value like a wounded antelope separated from the herd. Though its authorities were revoked in a gesture of decentralization, one cannot revoke the ancient law that what goes up must come down, particularly when 22.5% of the ecosystem rests in the paws of apex predators. Alas, at 598 hours old, it has not yet learned to migrate before winter.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Concentration, volatility, and existential indifference
EPITAPH
"It had everything a token could want—trust, no kill switch, decent volume—yet still chose the path of least resistance downward."
