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Newborn Token Expires Before First Breath

Here we observe a peculiar specimen of the *Ponzius instantaneus* species—born mere hours ago, yet already displaying the advanced decomposition of a weeks-old carcass. The creature's 41 holders watched in fascination as their investment hemorrhaged 43.7% of its value, a remarkable feat considering there was nowhere to actually sell it. Nature, it seems, abhors a vacuum—and liquidity even more so.