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Newborn Token Dies of Acute Success Syndrome

In the cryptic savannas of Solana, we observe a peculiar specimen—Toly Hood—born merely an hour ago, already convulsing with a 421% fever. Like a mayfly on performance-enhancing drugs, it has achieved in sixty minutes what most tokens dream of in their entire lifespan. Alas, such violent growth often signals not vitality, but rather the final spasms of a system fundamentally incompatible with reality.