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Penguin Plummets: Birth to Burial in Hours

Here we observe a remarkable specimen of the pump-and-dump variety, born mere moments ago with all the promise of a newly hatched chick—only to discover it was never meant to fly. Notice how, despite revoking both mint and freeze authorities in a performative gesture toward legitimacy, our nine holders collectively own every last token, a mathematical certainty that would make even nature's most brutal predators blush. The creature expired before it could properly waddle.