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FRUITCATS: A Two-Hour Speculative Fever Dream

In the waning hours of its brief existence, FRUITCATS experienced what we in the industry call 'a rather aggressive price discovery mechanism'—a 444% surge that, much like the mating displays of certain exotic birds, signified nothing but the desperation of the desperate. With zero liquidity and fifty-nine percent of tokens concentrated in the paws of ten holders, this feline-fruit hybrid was less a token and more a carefully orchestrated exit strategy. One can only admire the elegant efficiency with which eighty-one believers were separated from their capital in two hours flat.