CAUSE OF DEATH
Troll Unc: Two Hours of Glorious Chaos
In the beginning, there was TRUNC—a creature born mere hours ago, blessed with the rarest of traits: revoked authorities and a 2177% surge that would make even the most optimistic speculator weep. Like the mayfly that experiences its entire lifecycle in a single day, this token achieved in 120 minutes what most projects pray for in a lifetime. Yet therein lies the delicious irony: when a token moves this violently this quickly, one must ask not 'will it survive?' but rather 'for whom is this a feature, and for whom a funeral?'
CAUSE OF DEATH
Excessive success too soon
EPITAPH
"It lived hard, died fast, and left a $503k volume epitaph."
