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CAUSE OF DEATH

Newborn Token Found Dead On Arrival

In the swamps of Solana, a curious specimen emerged—Leopold Aschenbrenner, born mere hours ago with all the structural integrity of a house of cards in a hurricane. Despite the ceremonial revocation of its authorities, the creature never had a fighting chance: concentrated in the jaws of ten apex predators, it experienced a violent 133% death throes before expiring entirely. Nature, it seems, abhors a token with zero liquidity and thirty-eight bewildered witnesses.

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