CAUSE OF DEATH
The Immortal Dog's Paradoxical One-Hour Sprint
In the beginning, there was MAGGIE—a creature born merely sixty minutes ago, already achieving a 117% ascent that would make lesser tokens weep into their liquidity pools. Yet here we observe the classic predator-prey dynamic of crypto: a newborn with revoked authorities, a suspiciously concentrated top 10, and volume that screams desperation rather than devotion. The Immortal Dog, it seems, is merely Schrödinger's token—simultaneously alive and destined for the great blockchain beyond.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Velocity mistaken for vitality, youth for longevity
EPITAPH
"They named her Immortal, but forgot to check the expiration date on the hype."
