CAUSE OF DEATH
Newborn Token Dies of Acute Whale Predation
In a remarkable display of biological efficiency, the specimen COMPUTA entered the world mere hours ago, only to immediately discover that being a fresh-hatched fledgling in a pond teeming with ravenous predators was perhaps unwise. The top ten feeding organisms, clutching 44.6% of the organism's mass, have begun their systematic consumption—a 42.7% price collapse in a single day representing what we in the field call 'spectacularly poor timing.' One wonders if the developers paused to consider that revoking authorities is rather like removing the infant's ability to cry for help.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Premature birth into hostile ecosystem
EPITAPH
"It was programmed to succeed, but only in the technical sense."