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Newborn Kitten Gasps Final Breath

In its mere infancy, Fomo the Kitty experienced the financial equivalent of a supernova—a brilliant, violent 161% ascent followed by the inevitable gravitational collapse into the void. With zero liquidity and 73.5% of its wealth hoarded by the alpha predators, this feline never stood a chance; it was less a token and more a elaborate exit scam wearing whiskers. The revoked authorities suggest someone at least had the decency to euthanize it before the real suffering began.