CAUSE OF DEATH
Newborn Token Found Dead on Arrival
Here we observe a creature that never drew its first breath. Born mere hours ago into a hostile ecosystem, the Never Kill Yourself token achieved the ironic distinction of doing precisely that through spectacular volatility and the curious absence of any liquidity whatsoever. Like a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis only to discover it was constructed entirely of tissue paper, this token's 395% price swing merely reflected the violent convulsions of a market with nowhere to exit.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Infant mortality: zero liquidity, extreme concentration
EPITAPH
"It promised never to kill yourself, yet demonstrated with mathematical precision exactly how quickly one could be murdered by mathematics alone."
