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Helmet-Clad Feline Expires After One Hour

In the unforgiving savanna of decentralized finance, we observe a peculiar specimen that barely drew breath before succumbing to its own contradictions. Born merely sixty minutes prior, this token achieved the remarkable feat of hemorrhaging ninety percent of its value—a velocity of financial collapse rarely witnessed outside of a black hole's event horizon. The fourteen dozen holders watched helplessly as the top ten predators consumed eighty-four percent of the circulating wealth, a feast so efficient it made natural selection look like a charity benefit.