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Pizza With Sunglasses: A Newborn's Sudden Collapse

In the primordial swamps of Solana, a creature was born—Pizza With Sunglasses—arriving fully formed with revoked authorities and a suspicious 317% fever. Its brief existence, measured in mere hours, saw a remarkable $84,720 change hands amongst 204 believers, though its organs—particularly liquidity—failed to materialize. The top predators, holding 57.5% of its tissue, watched with sunglassed indifference as their creation gasped its last breath.