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CAUSE OF DEATH

Pelé Scores Own Goal in First Half

Here we observe a remarkable specimen—born mere hours ago, the Pelé token has already demonstrated the athletic prowess of its namesake by executing a flawless own goal. With 319% volatility, zero liquidity, and a top-ten ownership concentration that would make a dictator blush, this magnificent creature achieved what few tokens manage: death before its first sunset. One can only marvel at such devastating efficiency.

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