CAUSE OF DEATH
Newborn Token Flatlines Before First Breath
Here we observe the remarkable 立立牛, a creature that achieved the remarkable feat of being pronounced dead on arrival. Born merely hours ago, this specimen experienced a catastrophic 25.7% hemorrhage whilst still in the delivery room—a financial miscarriage of justice, if you will. The removal of all governing authorities suggests the creators hoped to appear trustworthy by neutering themselves, much like a scorpion removing its own stinger.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Infant mortality syndrome with pump-and-dump complications
EPITAPH
"They said 'no mint authority'—turns out that was the only honest thing about it."
