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Extraterrestrial Finance Crashes to Earth

Here we observe the Book of Aliens in its final moments—a curious specimen that achieved the remarkable feat of absolute liquidity depletion whilst maintaining a steadfast grip on immobility. With seventeen believers and $123 in daily volume, it has demonstrated that even in death, the universe maintains perfect mathematical indifference. One might say its brief 363-hour existence was less a journey through the cosmos and more a rapid descent through the void.