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The Original Doge: A Sixty-Minute Obituary

In the Solana savanna, a new predator emerged—only to discover it had no teeth, no claws, and six very angry shareholders. The creature thrashed about with desperate conviction for precisely one hour before collapsing from the self-inflicted wound of complete liquidity drainage. Nature's cruelest irony: it survived long enough to revoke its own authorities, as if choosing a dignified exit from a burning building with no exits.