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Newborn Token Dies of Instant Millionaire Syndrome

In the beginning, there was uhm—a creature so fresh it hadn't yet drawn its first breath before the vultures arrived. With zero liquidity and 57.5% of its meager existence concentrated in ten fortunate hands, this token experienced a brief, glorious 675% rally, the financial equivalent of a mayfly's most ambitious Tuesday. By the time forensics arrived, the patient had already flatlined, having achieved the remarkable feat of dying before it was properly born.