CAUSE OF DEATH
Internet Coin: Born at Dawn, Dead by Dusk
Here we observe a remarkable specimen of the genus *Pump et Dump*—a token that achieved the remarkable feat of dying before most investors had finished their morning coffee. In merely twenty-four hours, this creature experienced a complete metabolic collapse, shedding 81.8% of its value with the grace of a wounded wildebeest on the Serengeti. Nature, it seems, abhors both a vacuum and a token with 65% concentration in ten wallets.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Newborn hyperinflation meets institutional predation
EPITAPH
"It had all the hallmarks of permanence: zero hours old, already a fossil."