CAUSE OF DEATH
Trenchers in Football: A Newborn Stillbirth
Here we observe a specimen so ephemeral, so utterly devoid of purpose, that it achieved the remarkable feat of dying before it truly lived. Born mere hours ago into a hostile ecosystem, this token was immediately abandoned by its creators—a mercy killing, one might argue. The three remaining holders, clutching their worthless bags like survivors of a shipwreck, bear witness to what can only be described as the financial equivalent of spontaneous combustion.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Liquidity drainage, infant mortality, utter pointlessness
EPITAPH
"It was here for $230. It is here no longer. Nobody noticed."
