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Throat Goat Expires Before First Bleat

In the unforgiving savanna of Solana, we observe a creature that never quite drew breath. Born merely hours ago with all the structural integrity of a house of cards in a hurricane, this token achieved the remarkable feat of losing half its value before most traders had finished their morning coffee. The three remaining holders—perhaps the token's only true believers—clutch their bags like mourners at a funeral they themselves arranged.