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Pumpcat: A Two-Hour Miracle That Never Was

Here we observe pumpcat, a creature that achieved a remarkable 136% ascent in merely two hours—a feat that would make natural selection weep with envy. With nearly $20,000 in liquidity and 779 believers clutching their positions, the token performed that most ancient of Solana rituals: explosive growth paired with the structural fragility of a sandcastle during high tide. As the dust settles on this microscopic empire, we find ourselves asking not 'how did it die,' but rather 'was it ever truly alive?'