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Seventeen Whales, One Magnificent Pump-and-Dump

Here we observe Portal, a mere twenty hours into its existence, already exhibiting the telltale rigor mortis of a centralized distribution scheme. With a liquidity pool rivaling modest nation-states yet volume barely exceeding a rounding error, this creature never stood a chance—a beautiful monument to the principle that revoked authorities cannot revoke mathematical inevitability. One watches, fascinated, as seventeen holders contemplate their bags with the quiet resignation of passengers who've already spotted the iceberg.