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Newborn Token Succumbs to Instant Gravitational Collapse

Here we observe a peculiar specimen of the genus *Pump-and-Dump-icus*, born mere hours ago with all the promise of a mayfly at dusk. The creature never drew breath—or liquidity—before its two progenitors, holding the entirety of its genetic material, abandoned it to the void. A masterclass in financial entropy, this token achieved what few others manage: negative value creation on a timescale measured in minutes rather than weeks.