Newborn Token Found Dead on Arrival

In the predawn hours of its existence, Bank That Compounds experienced what can only be described as a spectacular financial seizure. Born mere moments ago with the metabolic rate of a hummingee on espresso, the creature's 205% price spike was not a sign of vigor, but rather the death throes of a pump preparing for its inevitable dump. Like a mayfly that overslept, it never stood a chance.