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Coolman's Brief, Chilly Demise Observed

Here we observe the Coolman token in its final throes—a creature that lived barely five days before succumbing to the inevitably fatal condition of being owned almost entirely by ten individuals. Like a mayfly at a pension fund, it never stood a chance. With a liquidity pool smaller than a moderately successful lemonade stand and a daily volume of $7.86, this token achieved the remarkable feat of becoming irrelevant before most of its holders could finish their morning coffee.