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Newborn Token Dies Before First Nap

In the brutal Solana savanna, a creature emerges fresh from the primordial blockchain, adorned with the finest credentials—revoked authorities, a respectable grade—yet tragically stillborn in the harsh light of day. With merely 339 believers and $17,531 in liquidity, our specimen possessed all the structural integrity of a house built on quicksand, its 60% daily surge a death rattle masquerading as vitality.