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CAUSE OF DEATH

Newborn Token Flatlines After Brutal Market Birth

In the beginning, there was hope. Seventy-three believers gathered around Save Will Roberts, watching their investment swing wildly like a newborn giraffe's first steps—except this giraffe was born without a circulatory system. By hour one, the creature was already decomposing, its liquidity evaporated like morning dew in the Serengeti, leaving only the top ten predators clutching 77.5% of the carcass.

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