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Newborn Pump-and-Dump Shows Remarkable Vitality

In merely sixty minutes, Dab67 has achieved what most tokens aspire to in their lifetime: an 812% gain and $1 million in volume. Yet we observe the telltale signs of a creature living on borrowed time—born without parental guidance, surrounded by 1,803 hopeful witnesses, and carrying the genetic markers of every pump scheme that came before it. The real autopsy, dear viewers, will commence when the liquidity evaporates like morning dew on the Serengeti.