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Gooncoin: A Premature Extinction Event

Here we observe the skeletal remains of Gooncoin, a specimen that achieved the remarkable feat of near-total irrelevance while still technically breathing. With a mere $3,247 in liquidity and ninety-nine point nine percent of its wealth hoarded by a cabal of ten holders, it represents nature's perfect metaphor for wealth inequality—had nature bothered to care. The tragic irony, of course, is that whoever revoked those authorities did so with all the urgency of bolting a stable door after the horse had already decomposed.