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CAUSE OF DEATH

Newborn Token Flatlines Minutes After Birth

In the unforgiving savanna of decentralized finance, We Literally Fuck Investors emerged into the world screaming—only to discover that 81.3% of its genetic material had already been claimed by its alpha predators. What followed was nature's most efficient form of natural selection: an 89.5% plunge in mere hours, as retail investors learned that honesty in branding is no substitute for actual utility.

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