Initial Cock Offering8wFuJrzwXdLdmaMmrREMLChqGpoTPCUTfCxZBmMTpump

Newborn Token Dies on Arrival, Investors Mourn Briefly

In what can only be described as a financial tragedy of Shakespearean brevity, the Initial Cock Offering has expired before its first sunset, having accomplished little more than separating $42,573 from hopeful speculators. The fourteen holders—fourteen!—discovered too late that a revoked mint authority and zero liquidity are not, in fact, features of a sound investment strategy. Nature, red in tooth and claw, has nothing on the Solana ecosystem.