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Newborn Token Arrives DOA at Hospital

Here we observe a remarkable specimen—born mere hours ago, yet already exhibiting the telltale signs of terminal volatility. A 710% price surge, you see, is nature's way of saying 'we have no idea what we're doing,' much like a newborn giraffe discovering gravity for the first time. With zero liquidity and a top ten that's already circling like hyenas, this creature never stood a chance.