CAUSE OF DEATH
Top Dog Expires Before Breakfast
Here we observe a specimen that achieved the remarkable feat of dying before it was truly born—a newborn whose first and final act was a catastrophic 92% collapse. The predators at the top of the food chain, controlling 91% of supply, have already consumed their fill and departed, leaving only skeletal liquidity and ninety-eight bewildered holders in their wake.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Concentration, speed, and institutional indifference
EPITAPH
"It lived for zero hours and still managed to disappoint 98 people—an efficiency rarely seen in the animal kingdom."