Trump's 80th Birthday8LTtARPjzbvc3JGut7UciDL7mzqSW2vqVa174W9tpump

Birthday Cake Token Rises, Promptly Combusts

In the beginning, there was exuberance—a mere hour of existence yielding gains that would make Icarus blush. Yet observe the precarious foundations: a liquidity pool smaller than a Manhattan studio apartment, holders clustered like nervous penguins on a melting iceberg, and a trading volume suggesting someone's grandmother got very lucky on her first trade. Nature, it seems, abhors a vacuum—and this token was nothing but potential energy waiting to dissipate.