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Boatcoin Sinks Before Maiden Voyage

Here we observe the Boatcoin, a creature that existed for mere hours before suffering catastrophic ecosystem collapse. Born into a hostile market with seven struggling organisms clinging to its hull, the specimen achieved a remarkable 527% price volatility—a death rattle so violent it could only suggest coordinated exit from those controlling 100% of supply. One must admire the audacity of its creators, who revoked all authorities before the body was even cold.