CAUSE OF DEATH
Functra: Born Dead, Stayed That Way
In the unforgiving savanna of decentralized finance, we observe the functra token in its natural habitat—which is to say, the grave. Born mere hours ago with all the vitality of a stillborn wildebeest, it managed to hemorrhage 65% of its value while maintaining the structural integrity of a house of cards in a hurricane. Two holders clung to their bags like drowning men to driftwood, only to discover the driftwood was made of paper.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Liquidity evaporation meets concentrated holder distribution
EPITAPH
"It had such potential—for exactly eight hundred and seventy-nine dollars."
