Newborn Ape Shows Troubling Concentration Symptoms

Here we observe the Flappy Ape, mere hours into its existence, already exhibiting the classic symptoms of premature wealth concentration—a condition where 41.8% of the specimen pools into just ten predatory hands. Early vitals appear deceptively stable: a respectable 7.3% pulse, reasonable liquidity, even enthusiastic trading volume. Yet like a bird with clipped wings, this creature's flight was destined to be tragically brief.