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Crown Jewel Collapses Under Its Own Weight

In the waning hours of its brief existence, the Burger King Crown token succumbed to a fatal condition known in the wild as 'whale concentration syndrome'—a malady wherein ninety-seven percent of the specimen's genetic material concentrated itself in merely ten organisms. As the price hemorrhaged nearly thirty percent in a single solar cycle, the few retail investors who wandered into this particular watering hole discovered, too late, that they were not hunting; they were being hunted.