CAUSE OF DEATH
Infant Token Achieves Escape Velocity, Then Gravity
Observe the Donald J Trump International Air specimen, a mere hour into its existence, already exhibiting the fever-dream volatility of a meme coin possessed by collective delusion. With nearly half a million dollars churning through its veins in a single day, it has achieved the remarkable feat of being simultaneously alive and preordained—a financial Schrödinger's cat, minus the cat, plus the bag of holding.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Too young, too volatile, too meme
EPITAPH
"It soared 380% in its first hour, which is precisely how we know it had nowhere left to go but down."
