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Newborn Token Experiences Explosive Growth, Then Gravity

Here we observe a peculiar specimen of the genus Pump-and-Dumpicus—born mere hours ago, it achieved a dizzying 779% ascent before the inevitable laws of financial physics reasserted themselves. With a liquidity pool smaller than a moderately successful garage sale and volume that suggests someone's grandmother discovered the blockchain, this magnificent creature never stood a chance against the predatory investors circling overhead.