CAUSE OF DEATH
ELONG: A Two-Hour Miracle Gone Wrong
In the predatory ecosystem of Solana, we witness a remarkable specimen—born merely hours ago, already bearing the telltale signs of severe centralization necrosis. Observe the top ten holders, clutching 97.5% of supply like dragons hoarding gold, while a mere thirty-two bag holders circle below, trapped in what can only be described as a liquidity mirage. The token's authorities may be revoked, but the damage, dear viewer, was done long before the paperwork was filed.
CAUSE OF DEATH
Extreme whale concentration and infant mortality
EPITAPH
"It had a pulse for 120 minutes; then gravity remembered it existed."