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Newborn Token Dies of Acute Pump-and-Dump Syndrome

In its brief hour of existence, AXON experienced what can only be described as a financial fever dream—a 650% price surge that would make any normal asset blush, followed by the inevitable crash into oblivion. Like a mayfly at a casino, it burned brilliantly and briefly, leaving behind only hollowed wallets and the faint smell of regret. The revoked authorities suggest someone at least had the decency to remove the kill switch before abandoning ship.