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Newborn Token Shows Alarming Vital Signs

Here we observe a curious specimen, freshly minted mere hours ago, already exhibiting the frenetic behavior of a day trader on espresso. The authorities have been revoked—a precautionary measure, one might say, akin to removing the keys from a teenager's sports car before the test drive. Yet somehow, against all evolutionary logic, it thrashes about with $377k in daily volume, a newborn that arrived screaming into existence.