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Air Force One Crash-Lands Into Obscurity

Here we observe Air Force One in its final moments—a token that achieved the remarkable feat of convincing 234 investors to board a flight with only $3,428 in fuel and no pilot. With 95.9% of holdings concentrated in the captain's cabin, this aircraft was destined for a rather solitary descent. The irony, of course, is that despite revoking both mint and freeze authorities—a desperate attempt at appearing legitimate—the market has rendered such safeguards entirely academic.