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Apple Cat Dies of Spectacular Volatility

Here we observe the remarkable specimen of apple cat, a creature that achieved a staggering 428% price movement in mere hours—a feat typically reserved for tokens experiencing their final, convulsive death throes. With zero liquidity and 56% of its meager population concentrated in the hands of a select few apex predators, this feline never stood a chance. The revocation of all authorities suggests a mercy killing of the most ironic kind.