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Handjob Man: A Fourteen-Day Obituary

Here we observe the Handjob Man token in its final throes—a creature whose brief existence was marked by the fatal concentration of wealth among its top ten predators, who collectively clutch 95.5% of its dwindling carcass. With a liquidity pool barely sufficient to purchase a modest lunch and daily volumes suggesting nobody particularly wanted what it was selling, this specimen exemplifies nature's cruel culling of the poorly-capitalized and unimaginatively-named.